Master Roshi's Journal
by Ponytail Goddess
Summary: *Complete* Here are some of Master Roshi's daily journal writings. They are here purely for your amusement.
1. Entry 1

Hola! Welcome to Master Roshi's Journal! This is going to be my fic that will give me a break from all of my more serious fics. I just came up with the idea, and I think this will be pretty cool. Well, I hope that you enjoy this little work. The chapters will probably be pretty short. I hope that it will be loved anyway. Well, enjoy!  
  
Disclaimer: No, I don't own Dragon Ball Z.  
  
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Master Roshi's Journal  
  
By: Ponytail Goddess  
  
Dear Journal:  
  
Whoo-hoo!!! Man, has it been a good day!  
  
First, when I got up I watched Hemei's aerobics. Sakura's back on the show now. Her leg must have finally healed up. Well, it looks good, and I mean GOOD!!! Damn, she has a fine set of legs.  
  
After that I tried to steal #18's fine bikini underwear from her clothes basket. She's a little too fast for me though, and she threatened to shove my head up my ass afterwards.  
  
Everything was pretty boring after that, until I went to the beach that is. Man, some of the women around here have very nice racks. I ran into Marron there, Krillin's old girlfriend. She was looking very good in that red string bikini she was in. I thought that she'd look even better without it, so I grabbed one of the ties on the side and yanked it. I got to see a lot! It was great up until her boyfriend made me eat sand.  
  
Well, that's pretty much all of my excitement for today.  
  
Master Roshi  
  
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Well, did you like it? Please review! Thanks.  
  
About the length: Well, what do you expect? It's a daily journal writing! It will be better once I get more entries up.  
  
Am I pervert? No, not that I know of, I just thought this would be funny and I hope that it is!  
  
Well, until the next entry.....  
  
P.G. 


	2. Entry 2

Welcome back to Master Roshi's Journal! I'm surprised at the response I got for it last time. I was thinking about taking it down, but since so many people liked it, I suppose it'll stay up. Well, enjoy!  
  
Disclamier: I don't own DBZ.  
  
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Master Roshi's Journal  
  
By: Ponytail Goddess  
  
Dear Journal:  
  
I have to write this quickly so that Android 18 won't hurt me. You see, I accidentally left some of my porn magazines out on the coffee table last night. Today #18 caught Marron looking through them! Marron was even asking 18 questions about the pictures. I am screwed!  
  
Maybe if I go out I'll get away with it! Yeah, that's a good idea! I'll go to the strip club before Android 18 rings my neck. Well, I gotta run!  
  
Master Roshi  
  
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Well, there you have it. A small joke to liven up your day. Please review. Thanks for reading. Bye! 


	3. Entry 3

Hola! Thanks for the reviews! I wasn't sure if this would go over or not. Well, enjoy the latest addition.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ.  
  
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Master Roshi's Journal  
  
By: Ponytail Goddess  
  
Dear Journal:  
  
Hey! Today marks the beginning of a long competition between me and Oolong. He seems to think that his panty collection is larger than mine!!! HE WISHES!!!!! JUST BECAUSE HE OWNS THE SOFTEST PANTIES IN THE WORLD DOESN'T MEAN HIS COLLECTION IS ANY BETTER!!!!! I'LL SHOW HIM!!!!!  
  
So today I've been to Victoria's Secret. The clerk told me that I was the only one who has ever filled up a shopping cart in that store! A new record!  
  
I'LL SHOW YOU OOLONG!!!  
  
Roshi  
  
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Well, did ya like it? Please review. Thanks! Who will win the panty war? To find out, keep reading Master Roshi's Journal!  
  
-P.G. 


	4. Entry 4

Hola, here's the next chapter! Enjoy!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ!!!  
  
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Master Roshi's Journal  
  
By: Ponytail Goddess  
  
Dear Journal:  
  
Today has been interesting. I was thinking about going into town to visit another lingerie store today, but then I got a better idea. Why pay for all of the underwear for the contest when I could get it all for free?  
  
So when I went to town, I raided clotheslines. That's right, you can get a lot of underpants from clotheslines! Just as long as you don't get caught. I was chased by over a dozen people today, including Chichi who is outside my house right now with her frying pan. That is why I've boarded all of the windows and locked all the doors. She's banging on the side of the house right now. It's pretty freaky. I don't think that I should go out there for a while.  
  
However, now I have a large amount of technicolored panties. And whoever would have guessed that Chichi owned a thong?!? I remember grabbing that one off of her line!  
  
Oolong doesn't stand a chance!  
  
Master Roshi  
  
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Well, did you like it? Please review! Thanks. Stay tuned for more on the panty war.  
  
-P.G. 


	5. Entry 5

Hola! Thanks goes to everyone who read this, reviewed it, or both! Here's some more on the panty wars!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ, though I do own the Panty War idea.  
  
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Master Roshi's Journal  
  
By: Ponytail Goddess  
  
Dear Journal:  
  
HELP!!! It's been two days since I stoled the lacy red thong off of Chichi's clothesline and she's still outside screaming threats at me and banging on the door. It's really scary. I don't think she's going to leave anytime soon either. She has a tent out there, for Dende's sake!!! What the hell am I going to do?!?!?  
  
Well, at least the screaming ceased yesterday for a few hours when she lost her voice. However, it came back, unfortunately. I don't know what I'm going to do when I run out of food in here.  
  
Oh dear Dende.......what am I going to do?!?  
  
Master Roshi  
  
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Well, did you like it? Please review! Thanks! There'll be more soon!  
  
-P.G. 


	6. Entry 6

Welcome back to Master Roshi's Journal! Here's yet another disturbing chapter! Thanks for the reviews! They are appreciated!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ or any red lacy thongs.  
  
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Master Roshi's Journal  
  
By: Ponytail Goddess  
  
Dear Journal:  
  
I am beginning to wonder if this contest with Oolong is really worth all of this trouble. I have been shut in my house for over a week. Chichi is still outside. She is trying to saw through the door. Earlier today I had to prop furniture up against it so that if it actually does get open then there will be things between me and that stainless steal frying pan.  
  
The other bad thing is that I'm almost out of food. All I have left are ramen noodles! Dende, I really hope that she will leave soon!  
  
I need my new porn magazines. They are outside in the mailbox though. I don't know how much longer I can go without new porn........  
  
When one is locked in a house for this long, you can't help but wonder about things. For instance, did Goku buy Chichi that thong? And does she have anymore like this?  
  
I NEED PORN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !  
  
Oh boy, Goku would have my head if he read this. I better stop for today before I end up pressing my sanity even more.  
  
Master Roshi  
  
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Please review. Thanks. 


	7. Entry 7

Thanks for the lovely comments! Now, onto the next chapter!  
  
Disclaimer: For the love of Pete, I DO NOT OWN DBZ!!!  
  
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Master Roshi's Journal  
  
By: Ponytail Goddess  
  
Dear Journal:  
  
I have survived! All I got was a broken arm, four broken ribs, and one badly bruised ankle. I am glad to be out of the hospital now. It is good to be home! Hopefully some senzu beans will be ready soon so that I can get back to my beach excursions soon.  
  
Well, at least Chichi left after beating me severely. However, she took back her red thong. Damn her. Now I have to go find another to add to my collection. This little fit with Chichi has given Oolong plenty of time to surpass my wonderful collection. I'll have to continue it as soon as possible.  
  
I wonder what Bulma has on her clothesline..........  
  
Master Roshi  
  
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Please review. Thanks! 


	8. Entry 8

Welcome back to Master Roshi's Journal! I'm sorry to say that the chapters probably won't get any longer. Well, he's not much of a writing person, so what do you expect! I hope that you enjoy it anyhow. Onto the next chapter!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ.  
  
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Master Roshi's Journal  
  
By: Ponytail Goddess  
  
Dear Journal:  
  
Well, today has been interesting. I'm back to my clothesline ways. I have started to raid West Capitol City! Oolong seems to have gotten this idea as well however. Damn him. We raced each other from line to line, fighting for panties and stealing them from the other when he wasn't looking. Hahaha.........I still have more than Oolong!  
  
Oolong's day didn't go so well. He got to Bulma's clothesline before me. Unfortunately Vegeta saw him taking his wife's panties off of the line. Well, let's just say that Vegeta promptly shot ki blasts at Oolong and claimed that he'd eat him alive if he ever came back.  
  
Oolong, you are going down! Tomorrow I'm going to Satan City to get panties. Maybe I'll get some of Videl's. I wonder what kind she wears.........  
  
Master Roshi  
  
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Was it somewhat amusing? Please review. Thanks.  
  
-P.G. 


	9. Entry 9

Here's yet another amusing chapter of Master Roshi's Journal!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ!  
  
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Master Roshi's Journal  
  
By: Ponytail Goddess  
  
Dear Journal:  
  
Today I went to Satan City to go and get some more panties for the contest. I have acquired quite a collection. I have blacks, blues, greens, reds, and pinks. Lacey, silky, and satiny. G-Strings, bikinis, and thongs. I have an honorable amount. Oolong will never be able to defeat me now!!! MWHAHAHAHA!!!!!!  
  
Unfortunately, I did not get any of Videl's panties. I was making my way to the next house when she came out to find me with her drawers. Let's just say that she can run really fast. When I woke up I had no panties on hand. She even took the pair that I had been wearing! However, journal, that secret is just between you and me. If #18 ever found out that I sometimes wear her panties I'd have hell to pay. I can't help it! They're so comfortable and fit so well!  
  
Oh well, at least I have several pairs. However, I'm running out of places to hide them. 18 will go nuts if she finds out about this. I must go and seek out more spots to hide my panty stash.  
  
Master Roshi  
  
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Was that worth reading? Please review! Thanks. Man, you know, this entry is quite disturbing when you think about it. Ew.......bad mental picture!!!  
  
-P.G. 


	10. Entry 10

Welcome back to Master Roshi's Journal, the place where I try and scare people and hopefully give them a little laugh. Well, here's the next entry........  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ.  
  
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Master Roshi's Journal  
  
By: Ponytail Goddess  
  
Journal:  
  
Wow, my collection is really piling up now! My room is full of panties! Big and small panties! Embroidered panties! Fluffy Panties! Technicolored panties. I even have a pair of Marron's Barbie panties! And yet, there are still more in the world for me to acquire! Kami, how many different pair of underpants can I get? I may never know..........  
  
However, I do know that Oolong is going to loose. I swear, I am going to have to put my panties under lock and key. He came here today and tried to steal some from me! How evil and pathetic! And he's not the only one who takes off with my panties either! Marron sometimes runs around with them on her head! Only Kami knows what possesses her to do that. Anyhow, I need to find somewhere safer to hide these babies, but where?!?  
  
Uh-oh, Android 18 is yelling my name. She probably discovered that her underwear drawer was empty. I gotta run!!!  
  
Master Roshi  
  
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Did you like it? Please review. I hope that you found it amusing. I'll have more up soon.  
  
-P.G. 


	11. Entry 11

Welcome back! Enjoy the new edition!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ.  
  
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Master Roshi's Journal  
  
By: Ponytail Goddess  
  
Journal:  
  
Well, the panty war has officially ended. Unfortunately, nobody won. Android 18 found out about our contest and decided to burn all of the underwear. She has the bonfire going outside right now. The only pairs spared were hers and Oolong's softest panties in the world that he got from Shenron. I don't know how he talked her into sparing those ones either. She is one mean bitch!  
  
Now there is nothing to do! Without a contest I am back to my normal routine: read some porn, watch some playboy videos, read some porn, stalk some women, read some porn......... It gets dull after a while. I must find something new and interesting to do!  
  
Master Roshi  
  
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Please review. Thanks. Sorry, I had to end the panty war. It was getting old. I will come up with a new short saga of some sort though, don't worry. I just can't believe that so many people find this amusing. When I read over it, it seems pitiful. Oh well, since so many people have enjoyed it, I will continue as best as I can. Until the next entry.......  
  
-P.G. 


	12. Entry 12

Here's another Roshi chapter up just for you!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ!!!  
  
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Master Roshi's Journal  
  
By: Ponytail Goddess  
  
Journal:  
  
Hey, Oolong and I have a great new idea. We were walking to this new lingerie shop in Satan City when this guy came up to us and asked about the Oolong's panties (he was wearing his softest panties in the world on his head as usual). He asked where he could get a hat like this!  
  
Oolong and I pondered this for quite a while, but then we got this great idea! We are going to start a panty hat shop! We will specialize in underwear that is headgear! This will surely go over!  
  
Well, I have some work to do. I'm going to steal some of Android 18's panties back to help start the business. Gotta run!  
  
Roshi  
  
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Tell me if you like my new saga idea. Please review. Thanks. Also, tell me any ideas that you might have for this fic. They would be highly appreciated. Thanks!  
  
-P.G. 


	13. Entry 13

Welcome back to Master Roshi's Journal. It's been a long time, sorry! Blame my teachers and their extensive amounts of homework! *Pours gasoline over books and lights a match* BOOOOOOOMMMM!!! There, that's one problem solved! Now, onto the fic!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ.  
  
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Master Roshi's Journal  
  
By: Ponytail Goddess  
  
Journal:  
  
Oolong and I are getting ready to start our panty-hat business. We are going to call them "Hanties!", which stands for Hat-Panties! Pretty clever, eh? I came up with it myself.  
  
Anyhow, Oolong and I need to get some models to pose for some pictures. We need these for advertisements. We have already gotten a little shop in Satan City. Everything is going splendidly. Yajerobi is helping us. He knows his businesses!  
  
The only problem is that I need more panties. I'm going to head over to Capsule Corp. in a hour and try to raid Bulma's clothesline. Her neighbor also has some pretty kinky undergarments as well. It's a two-for- one deal!  
  
Hmm........perhaps I could get Goku to pose while wearing Hanties....... Maybe Bulma would too......... Hmm........  
  
Well, I gotta run!  
  
Roshi  
  
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Well, did you like it? Please review. I hope that this isn't getting too old or corny. Please feel free to give me your opinion. Thanks. Until later! Happy Thanksgiving!  
  
-P.G. 


	14. Entry 14

Welcome back to Master Roshi's Journal. Here's another chapter for everyone's enjoyment.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ.  
  
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Master Roshi's Journal  
  
By: Ponytail Goddess  
  
Journal:  
  
Today hasn't been a very good day. I am aching all over from yesterday's excursion in West Capitol City. See, I went over to Bulma's to go and get some panties from her clothesline. Well, I almost got away with it. Almost. Vegeta came out of the gravity room just as I was leaving. He saw me with my bag full of panties. He smirked, then walked away.  
  
For a second I thought I was going to get away with it. I went over to her neighbor's house and started raiding their clothesline. However, that's when it happened. I don't remember all that much other than baseball bats whacking me all over. I do remember someone, I think it was Vegeta, calling out, "Fifty points for each shot to the head! 100 for shots to the groin! If you can score 3,000 points in one minute then I'll take you to the park for an hour!".  
  
I think you can guess the rest. I woke up here in my room with more injuries than I can count. Android 18 has went to go and get me some senzu beans. She really does care, though she won't admit it. She even made up an excuse to go get them, saying that she wanted me to get up and clutch at women other than her. I know though that deep down somewhere in that computer brain of hers that she likes it........  
  
Roshi  
  
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Did you like it? Please review. Yes, I think it was rather lame, but oh well. I tried. I hope you enjoyed it. Happy Turkey Day!  
  
-P.G. 


	15. Entry 15

Welcome back to Master Roshi's Journal! Here's another entry for your enjoyment!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ.  
  
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Master Roshi's Journal  
  
By: Ponytail Goddess  
  
Journal:  
  
Well, I'm completely healed now. After taking two senzu beans I am ready to go and face the world! Or rather........steal some panties from the world!  
  
Oh yeah, Android 18 still hasn't noticed that I've taken her silk panties that say "I love midgets". I bet Krillen misses that pair though! These ones are really comfortable though, so I don't think I'll be giving them back at all. In fact, I'll keep them for myself. Who said I had to give all of the panties up for Hanties? Besides, Oolong has quite a few pairs. He should be helping this important cause too!!!  
  
Well, I'm off to go and raid Videl's clothesline. Hopefully Bulma hasn't pre-warned her about my coming.........  
  
Roshi  
  
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Well, there you are! Please review. Thanks. I hope that you enjoyed it! I'll update soon!  
  
-P.G. 


	16. Entry 16

Here's another totally screwed up chapter! Enjoy!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ.  
  
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Master Roshi's Journal  
  
By: Ponytail Goddess  
  
Journal:  
  
Well, after taking a severe beating from Gohan (I guess Bulma DID warn Videl about my coming around), I came back to the good ol' Kame house and digested some senzu beans as best as I could.  
  
Damn it, Oolong hasn't been helping the Hanties project at all. He won't even donate any of his panties to help! What a greedy, lazy pig! I swear, the next time I am craving bacon.............  
  
Anyway, I have finally talked Yajerobi into helping me steal panties for the store. Next stop, Chichi's house. Maybe she has more shiny thongs......... I bet those will sell really well.  
  
Roshi  
  
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Well, did I get you to laugh a bit, I hope? Please review. Thanks for reading! 


	17. Entry 17

Welcome back to Master Roshi's Journal! Enjoy!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ.  
  
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Master Roshi's Journal  
  
By: Ponytail Goddess  
  
Journal:  
  
Wow, today we got several panties for the Hanties project! All from Chichi too. Sheesh, I'm surprised she still puts them out on the clothesline........... Such quality. Goku's sure going to miss these!  
  
I'm surprised at how many lacy thongs Chichi owns. They are in multi- colors too. Red, blue, green.......... I swear, you name it, she has it! There's even a fuzzy pink one........... I think I might just keep that one for myself.  
  
Anyway, I cannot let Oolong see these. He would want them all for his collection! These panties are for Hanties purposes alone, so I must find somewhere to hide them.......... Hmm........ YES! I think I know just the place! Marron's dresser!  
  
Roshi  
  
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Tell me what ya think! More coming soon!  
  
-P.G. 


	18. Entry 18

Master Roshi's Journal is now celebrating 99 reviews! Holy crap! I am utterly flabbergasted. I never expected this fic to be this popular. Boy, was I wrong. Here's to another 99!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ.  
  
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Master Roshi's Journal  
  
By: Ponytail Goddess  
  
Dear Journal:  
  
Oh dear Dende, you have to help me! It's Marron. She's wearing Chichi's thongs! Android 18 is going to kill me when she sees this! She's going to be home in any minute. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO!?!?!?!?!?  
  
Good Dende, she is ruining the fuzzy pink thong! She's wearing it on her head for pete's sake! Oh, hey, wait a second........ That's perfect! I'll photograph Marron for the Hanties posters and fliers! She looks so cute that everyone will come and buy Hanties! I'll be so rich that I'll be able to start a Playboy Penthouse here in Japan! This is great!  
  
Thank you journal! I gotta go get the camera before 18 shows up!  
  
-Roshi  
  
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There's another chapter for ya! I'll be back soon (whether that's a good or bad thing, I do not know)! TTFN!!!!  
  
-P.G. 


	19. Entry 19

Here I present you with the final chapter of Master Roshi's Journal. Enjoy!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ.  
  
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Master Roshi's Journal  
  
By: Ponytail Goddess  
  
I am in such great trouble! Android 18 just saw me taking pictures of chibi Marron with the thong on my head. Now I'm locked in my room. Crap, I hear her coming up the steps! I ha  
  
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There you are. Stay tuned for the epilogue. 


	20. Epilogue

Here's the Epilogue to Master Roshi's Journal. I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed. I've learned one thing from this: when it comes to humor, people cannot resist perversion.  
  
In reality though, all anime's have some sort of pervert in them. Roshi adds some much needed humor to DBZ, and DB for that matter. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed my fic.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ.  
  
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Master Roshi's Journal  
  
By: Ponytail Goddess  
  
Epilogue  
  
Well, that marks the end of Master Roshi's legacy. When Android 18 found him, she preceded to kick him 'where it hurts' multiple times and then lock him out of his own house.  
  
Then she burned all of his underpants, ruining the entire Hanties plan. Also, upon finding his journal and seeing her name in it, she quickly threw it in her flaming trash barrel as well(plus, she immediately took off her "I love midgets" underwear that Master Roshi had been wearing and burnt those to. Later, not trusting him, she ended up getting herself all new panties, to Krillen's utter delight).  
  
When all of the porn and panties were burned, 18 considered the house totally censored (other than her nudi-Krillen pics, but that's a totally different story).  
  
As for Master Roshi, you may see him on the streets sometimes. He's that old man who hangs out in front of the movie theater hoping some unsuspecting girl will come close enough for him to-well, you know what I mean.  
  
Everone lived happily ever after.  
  
The End.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Yes, it's a lame ending, I know. I had to end it though. My fanfiction interests have strayed from DBZ and so I thought I'd just finish this fic out with a bit of dignity. Anyway, if you took the time to read it, I hope you enjoyed it. TTFN!  
  
-P.G. 


End file.
